Should My Sister Commit Suicide in a Zombie Apocalypse?

My little sister, Summer, recently complained to me of recurring nightmares where she was hiding from zombies. She rose from her slumbers tired from running, tired from thinking of ways she might escape them. She always lost. And of course, every time you lose to a zombie, not only do you die, but you become a zombie yourself, feasting on the living -- [in an evil voice] maybe even your own SISTER! Ahhh!

My mom, me, and my sister, Summer

Being a philosopher, I recommended immediately that instead of torturing herself in her dreams and rising listless only to be eaten again and again by zombies, that she should consider suicide. Not killing herself in real life, silly! Killing herself in response to a zombie apocalypse! Think about it. In a classic zombie movie, The Night of the Living Dead (1968), radiation has caused the bodies of the dead to rise and seek the living as food. The dead outnumber the living by billions and every time someone dies, that person also becomes a zombie. The only way to kill zombies or to prevent the dying or dead from becoming zombies is by damaging their brains. So it just makes sense when you crunch the numbers and think of the logical possibilities. Utilitarianism, a moral theory which requires people to look to the outcomes of their actions and maximize happiness for all those they affect, might suggest that Summer take a blow to the head herself before she became not only a victim but a murderer of possibly millions! She could prevent a lot of harm that way, and she could even maintain her integrity as a person. That's a reason that even Kant would approve of! So...in a zombie apocalypse should my sister commit suicide by destroying her brains before zombies come to feast on her? I say yes, but there are some reasons you might think of that would block my conclusion.

When I told my ethics class that I recommended for my sister to kill herself, they were pretty appalled. By show of hands only three or four of nearly thirty agreed with me -- and I'm the professor with grading power, so they showed courage in resistance to this innovative idea of mine. Following, you'll see some of their philosophical ideas and reasoning concerning what they would recommend in a zombie apocalypse. It might just help us to figure out not just what we should do in a zombie apocalypse, but how we should deal with tough issues in our real nonzombie world.